


Southern Man Don't Need You Around Anyhow

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Age Difference, Barely Legal, D/s, Daddy Kink, Discipline and Punishment, Drug Use, Dubious Consent, Humanstuck, I'm gonna Wilhelm Defoe up on your ass, M/M, Police officers, Size Kink, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:50:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5756086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While tutoring Gamzee, Equius says the wrong thing to Gamzee's father. Or is it the right thing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Southern Man Don't Need You Around Anyhow

**Author's Note:**

> Dubious consent as in an adult orders an eighteen year old to take a spanking but it happens to be the eighteen year old's kink.
> 
> It should go without saying that what GHB does is wrong. If this happens to you, ~~tell the police~~ avenge yourself.

Tutoring Gamzee Makara was like pulling teeth, but Equius knew it had to be done. Equius had volunteered months ago and he couldn’t go back on his word, especially not this close to final exams. So he was stuck late at night in a pot-smelling saloon-decorated basement with Gamzee and his creepily hovering older brother Kurloz. The tutor and his pupil sat on the couch while Kurloz leaned back against the pool table watching them. Calculus homework was on the coffee table currently.

Equius said, “As for the second function, you solve it by taking the X and...”

“Fuuuuuuuck,” Gamzee whined with his hands in his wild hair, “I don’t get motherfuckin’ get it.”

“Which part? Is it the first function or the second?”

“I don’t get the part where I have to do all this math bullshit.”

“I’ve explained this before. You have to get at least a passing grade in math to graduate high school.”

“I don’t mean in the simple sense, I mean, like, cosmically.”

“Cosmically?”

“Like, how does it matter to me in the universe how all them motherfuckin’ numbers and lines and triangles do their thing? Ain’t it good enough to know they exist?”

“No, it’s not good enough to know these ‘numbers and lines and triangles’ exist. We must know exactly what they are so we can use them.”

“I can use them motherfuckers good enough to add and subtract and multiple and shit, why I gotta be taught more?”

“You cannot go around with only an elementary school education. If you don’t finish at least twelve years of school, you are not an adult.”

Gamzee pointed to Kurloz. “He never did all his high schoolin’.”

Kurloz nodded and Equius looked nervously at him. Equius didn’t consider the older Makara brother a true adult despite Kurloz being twenty-four. However, Equius would never say that, not to Kurloz’s face anyway. 

“Well...” Equius said, “He obtained his high school equivalency degree.”

“Because he saw the light and realized high school was bullshit.” Gamzee turned to his older brother. “Am I on it?”

Kurloz pushed himself off the pool table and made a flurry of signs before crossing his arms again. Gamzee laughed and nodded. Like so many of his times in this basement, Equius was out of the loop. When he began this Sisyphean task, he had studied American Sign Language only for Gamzee to mention that Kurloz had his own idiocratic language he made up with his girlfriend, who favored Japanese Sign Language. Equius figured that even if he did learn the individual signs, Kurloz made them too fast to be understood by outsiders.

Still, Equius asked Kurloz, “Is that really what you think?”

Kurloz took his personal dry-erase board off the table and wrote on it. He turned it around to show his big blocky purple letters saying “JUST FUNNING”.

Equius nodded at Kurloz. “Excellent. And you plan on starting a fashion line, am I correct?”

Kurloz wiped his previous words off the board with the attached dry eraser and wrote “I’M CALLING IT ‘BITCHIN’ THREADS’.”

“Um, yes. And I’m sure it will be successful if you work at it 100%.” Equius asked Gamzee, “What about you?”

“I think...I wanna be a motherfuckin’ baker.”

“Baking requires exact measurements.”

“I never be needin’ exact measurements to make one of my sweet miracles. Don’t you think they’re perfect enough already?”

Privately, Equius had to admit Gamzee’s pies and other baked goods were 100% perfect. However, he said, “That’s not good enough. You will have to start using exact measurements on the job or you’ll get fired.”

“What if I own the motherfuckin’ business?”

“Then it’s even more important you keep track of your inventory.”

Kurloz stomped a foot, and Gamzee and Equius both looked over to see him signing.

“I ain’t gonna use THAT motherfucker in them,” Gamzee said to Kurloz, “The Old Man would sniff that out. We ain’t supposed to be sellin’.”

Equius asked, “Selling what?”

“Shit we ain’t supposed to be sellin’,” Gamzee answered.

Equius didn’t know what that meant but he said, “And you should listen to your father.”

“I love him but he scares me.” Gamzee turned to Kurloz. “What time he comin’ home?”

Kurloz wrote on his board “NINE O’CLOCK” only to erase it and write “IF HE COMES HOME TONIGHT.”

“I gotta feeling he’s comin’ home and that he’s bring presents. We’re run dangerously low. Say, you got something to tide me over?”

Kurloz made an odd noise with his diseased throat that sounded like an annoyed groan.

Gamzee responded, “Come on, it’s been a damn hard function-full night.”

Kurloz put his hand in his short’s pocket and pulled out a plastic baggie that he threw at Gamzee. Equius peered over and saw that inside it was various burnt white cigarette ends and a pair of tweezers.

“What are you planning on doing, young Makara?” Equius asked.

Instead of answering, Gamzee picked out a butt with the tweezers and put it to his mouth. With the other hand, he took out his Axe Man lighter and lit the butt. 

As Gamzee took a drag, Equius exclaimed, “You’re smoking butts – I mean – ends?”

Gamzee exhaled and shrugged. “You do what you gotta do.”

“You can’t be under the influence while studying!”

Gamzee looked at the clock, which was showing 8:42. “Ain’t it almost the end of our session?”

“But after our session, your father will arrive. What if he can tell your crime?”

Gamzee laughed and Kurloz bobbed his head like he was chuckling.

“What’s so funny?” Equius asked.

Kurloz wrote on a board “YOU ARE.”

Meanwhile, Gamzee said, “He ain’t never been carin’ ‘bout that crime.”

“I thought you once said he was a police officer?”

“He’s the highest of police officers – he’s the motherfuckin’ sheriff!”

“The sheriff...of this town?”

“He ain’t the sheriff of Timbuktu!”

“I knew this town was...unusual...but not this unusual.”

“I like this motherfuckin’ town the way it is.”

Equius held his hands up. “I didn’t mean any offense.”

“Ain’t any motherfuckin’ offense to be taken.”

Meanwhile, Kurloz wrote: “YOU KNOW NOTHING, YANKEE.” Equius looked nervously at Kurloz’s scowl.

The sound of the front door opening reached the basement. The Makara brothers both looked up at the ceiling and Equius joined them. The footsteps from above were very heavy.

“The Old Man,” Gamzee breathed.

“Maybe I should exit,” Equius said.

“Yeah, don’t know if he’d take to a Yankee like you.”

But Kurloz wrote: “NO EXITS BUT ONE.”

Equius looked at Kurloz’s sign. “I suppose I must met your father at some point.”

The basement door then opened and the heavy feet came downstairs. Everyone looked. Coming to the bottom was the man who was sheriff. He was in his uniform though with his shirt slightly unbuttoned and no hat. His afro looked like no hat could contain it. His face was covered in hair, with sideburns and a strange jagged beard. In contrast with his string bean sons, he was broad-shouldered and powerfully built. When he got to the bottom of the stairs, he dropped a brown leather satchel that befit his size. He waltz to the middle of the room and his sons ran to his side. Kurloz was almost as tall as him but short Gamzee looked tinier next to his father.

“I knew you chucklefucks would be down here,” the sheriff said, putting his long arms over their shoulders. He then looked over at the still-seated Equius. “But who THE HELL are you?”

Equius stood up and bowed a little. “Equius Zahhak, sir.”

Sheriff Makara pushed past his sons and went up to Equius. He towered a head over Equius. After looking his young guest up and down, he said, “You don’t LOOK like the kind of motherfucker my sons would hang out with. YOU REALLY THEIR FRIENDS?”

“I’m his tutor...not that I’m against being friends with them, it’s just...I have a professional relationship with your younger son.”

“You gettin’ paid for this? Who’s payin’?”

“I volunteered, sir.”

Sheriff Makara snorted. “You bit off A LOT TO CHEW, boy.”

He walked back to his satchel and took out two black gallon-sized plastic baggies. He tossed one at Gamzee and another at Kurloz.

“Don’t cash it all in one night,” Sheriff Makara told them before looking over at Equius. “And I AIN’T got any for you so DON’T EVEN ASK.”

“Any what, sir?” Equius asked.

Sheriff Makara gave the guest a withering look. “And you’re the one doin’ the tutorin’?”

Equius then looked over at Gamzee, who had opened his bag and was sniffing the green material on his fingers. It finally dawned on Equius.

“You’re the one who supplies their marijuana!” he exclaimed.

Sheriff Makara crossed his arms. “And I ain’t supplyin’ you.”

Equius looked down at the floor. “But...possessing marijuana...giving it to mere children...I just can’t even...”

“Can’t even what?”

Equius looked back up. “It’s wrong!” he cried, “It’s wrong and illegal! How can you call yourself a lawman...or a father?!”

The Makara brothers looked up from their bags and looked at their father. Equius saw horror on the sons’ faces but the father’s face looked blank. The basement was silent for a moment.

“Boy,” Sheriff Makara finally said, “We got some talking to do. UPSTAIRS. Away from these ‘mere children’.”

The Makara brothers said nothing in Equius’ defense or their own. They were frozen. Their father turned around while bidding Equius to follow.

Equius followed Sheriff Makara up the basement steps and through the house up to the last door on the second floor. Equius had mostly only seen the basement of the Makara house but he was too distracted to take in the decor. Sheriff Makara unlocked the door and they entered a bedroom. The bedroom only had a king-sized bed and a dresser as furniture but the walls were almost completely covered with various decorations. 

Sheriff Makara sat down on his colorful crazy-quilt bed and began taking off his boots. His feet were large even for a man of his size. Equius just stood by the door, waiting for a command. However, when the boots were done, Sheriff Makara simply started taking off his uniform shirt. He put it on a clothes hanger hung on his bed post. Underneath his uniform shirt was a tight white undershirt. From the holes in the undershirt came thick black hair. He had a round belly but he also had firm pecs. He took off his belt and opened the top button of his pants but didn’t take them off. He leaned back and exhaled a deep breath. After a few more deep breaths, he sat up again. Finally, he looked at his guest.

“Boy,” he asked, “HOW OLD ARE YOU?”

“Eighteen, sir. I’m a Senior at your younger son’s high school.”

“And you probably think that MAKES YOU AN ADULT, right, boy?”

“Umm...I acknowledge I have a lot of growing to do.”

Sheriff Makara looked Equius up and down and grinned. “Your body sure is grown. YOU SIX FEET TALL?”

Equius nodded.

“And those motherfuckin’ muscles! YOU MUST BE STRONG.”

Equius felt his face warm up with pride. “Thank you, sir.”

“BUT YOUR BRAIN HASN’T GROWN FROM A CHILD’S. If it had, you’d have learned NOT TO SASS YOUR ELDERS.”

“I didn’t mean...”

“Yes, YOU DID MEAN. You do think I’m a shitty-ass lawman and father. BUT LOOK AROUND YOU.”

Equius did so. The wall was covered in photographs of Sheriff Makara as a police officer and various framed awards. Here and there were wooden placards with angry platitudes like “Trespassers Will Be Shot” and “My Way or the Highway”. There even was an Insane Clown Posse’s poster.

“What should I look for, sir?” Equius asked when his eyes reached his host again.

Sheriff Makara began, “I have been an officer of the law for OVER TWENTY YEARS.” He pointed to a diploma. “I have an ASSOCIATE’S DEGREE in Criminal Science.” He pointed to another diploma. “I was at THE TOP OF MY CLASS at the Louisiana State Police Academy.” He pointed to a picture of a woman in a pirate costume. “I CAUGHT a NOTORIOUS BANK THIEF. I have KILLED men. I am the BEST SHOT in the force and I’m a BLACK BELT in Judo.” He pointed to a picture on the dresser of him holding hands with a tall woman with big hair. “I am CLOSE PERSONAL FRIENDS with Mayor Peixes. I am the MOTHERFUCKIN’ SHERIFF.”

“I’m very impressed, sir, so...”

“And I love my CHUCKLEFUCK BOYS. I raised them BY MYSELF,” Sheriff Makara said as he pointed at a picture of two wild-haired boys. “I have known those boys all my life AND I BET YOUR ASS JUST ROLLED INTO TOWN, RIGHT?”

“Two years, sir.”

“So you don’t know how they can be OFF THE DRUGS. Believe me, it’s almost MEDICINAL. I don’t take the stuff myself. I AIN’T WANTIN’ TO BE DUMB. And you?”

“I would never touch the vile weed! Not that there’s anything wrong with your sons taking it.”

“It is wrong. But, TAKIN’ WEEDS BETTER THAN DOING THE HARD STUFF. Don’t get me wrong, I still arrest other folks who’re holdin’ or sellin’. MOST OF THEM HAVE DONE SOMETHING ELSE WRONG, after all.”

“Wise decision, sir.”

Sheriff Makara only narrowed his eyes at that. “You still think I’m bullshit, DON’T YOU? That this is SELF-SERVING NONSENSE?”

Equius felt like this man could see through his dark shades. “Umm...”

“Well, it’s one thing to think that. IT’S A FREE COUNTRY. But you don’t DARE say that to me IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN and IN MY OWN MOTHERFUCKIN’ HOME. This is MY CASTLE and I AM KING.” He pointed to a placard above his bed that said that last sentence.

Equius looked briefly at the placard before looking back at Sheriff Makara. “I’m extremely sorry for undermining your authority, sir.”

“Talk is cheap, boy. You ain’t gonna leave here TILL I PUNISH YOU.”

Though Equius was already blushing and sweating from being told off by this powerful man, it was only now he began to harden. His mind flashed with painful yet sensual ways Sheriff Makara could punish him. However, Equius was still surprised by what next came out of Sheriff Makara’s mouth.

“I’m gonna spank you, boy.”

Equius had thought the punishment would be something like chores. He didn’t think this adult would turn to spanking another adult. Equius’ penis hardened more and he tried to casually put his hands in front of his crotch. “You can’t...”

“I can’t?”

“My father...doesn’t spank...and he’s my father.”

“Your sorry excuse for a father ain’t here. I’M YOUR DADDY NOW. And you ain’t gonna tell father about daddy, are you?”

Equius knew his father would object to having a stranger lay hands upon his son. Still, Equius wouldn’t tell. “No, sir.”

“Good boy. NOW COME CLOSER.”

Equius stepped forward with his hands still positioned over his crotch until he was right in front of the sitting older man.

“Take off those shades, boy,” Sheriff Makara said.

Equius did so one-handedly and slipped them into his shorts. Sheriff Makara pulled off the feat of looking down at someone a couple inches above them.

“You don’t smoke up, boy?” Sheriff Makara asked, “BECAUSE YOUR EYES ARE MORE BLOODSHOT THAN MY SONS.”

“I’ve always been that way, sir. It’s a medical condition.”

“Maybe it ain’t a bad idea you wearin’ shades.” Yet when Equius reached for his pocket, Sheriff Makara added, “I AIN’T SAYING TO PUT THEM BACK ON, FOOL.”

Equius closed his eyes. “It hurts to have them off.”

“Deal with it. I WANT TO SEE YOUR EMOTIONS.”

Equius opened his eyes again. The lighting in the bedroom was subdued enough that he wouldn’t have to worry about his photophobia but he still felt uncomfortable.

“Take off your shoes, boy,” Sheriff Makara said, “I DON’T WANT SHIT DRAGGED ON MY NICE QUILT.”

Equius kneeled down and took off his shoes, though he was afraid he’d rip his shoelaces in his nervousness.

“And pull down those godawful shorts.”

“What? Why?”

Sheriff Makara sighed. “Your father was too fuckin’ lax. YOU CAN’T SPANK THROUGH CLOTH, not properly that is.”

“But...nudity...”

“You just need to pull them down ENOUGH THAT I CAN SEE YOUR ASS.”

Equius wiped his face on his shoulder. “I suppose it not too much to ask then.”

“Then get on with it, boy.”

Equius turned around. He undid his fly and adjusted his erection in the process. He pulled his shorts and briefs down in the back while leaving his crotch covered. Behind him, he heard Sheriff Makara whistle.

“That’s some nice white skin you got for me, boy. I’M GONNA LOVE MAKIN’ IT RED.”

Equius turned his head. “Thank you, sir?”

Sheriff Makara scooted back until his thighs were completely on the bed. He then slapped his right thigh. The sound was ominous.

“Now lay face down over my legs, boy,” he said.

Equius looked down at the floor and breathed in and out three times. His arousal didn’t go away. He knew he wasn’t supposed to feel so aroused from a man spanking him but thinking that only made it worse. With no other choice, he performed the most complicated erection-hiding feat of his life. Or at least Equius told himself when he was securely positioned on Sheriff Makara’s lap that the man didn’t know. 

“You ready?” Sheriff Makara asked.

Equius said with his face in the crazy-quilt “Sir...”

“CAUSE IT’S TIME.”

Equius clenched his entire body in preparation. Then came the spank. Or rather, then came the tap. He realized that the spanking was only meant to humiliate rather than hurt. Part of him was relieved there would be no pain but part of him was disappointed he wouldn’t get to experience a new sensation tonight. He told himself that if he was going to indulge in spanking, it would be better if it was with a female his age rather than this man more than twice his age. After all, Equius considered himself a heterosexual.

A few more weak strikes followed the first but Equius paid them no mind. At around twenty, Sheriff Makara seemed to stop. Equius, his erection no longer a problem, decided to get off Sheriff Makara’s lap. Yet when he pushed himself up, Sheriff Makara pushed down hard with both hands on the teenage boy’s shoulders.

“You don’t go TILL I SAY YOU GO, BOY,” he growled.

Equius tried to say sorry but his face was smothered by quilt. Sheriff Makara let go of one shoulder.

“That weakass bullshit WAS JUST PRACTICE,” he said.

Sheriff Makara made a hum as if reeling up. Equius didn’t know whether to tense up or not. The hum stopped and the sheriff made a “yah” noise before his hand striking bare skin made an audible slap. Equius’ untested body was hit by his first real spank and everything clenched up. Sheriff Makara obviously meant to hurt. Still, for a second, Equius thought the slap was the last one before the second one came crashing down. Another one came, and then another. Sheriff Makara got into his swing but Equius continued to be shocked Sheriff Makara would do such a thing. 

“Ain’t so easy to take, IS IT?” Sheriff Makara teased, “If you want to, YOU CAN CRY.”

However, Equius couldn’t make any noise but slight muffled groans. His face was in too deep in the bed. More than that, he was too proud to cry. The Makara sons might hear and he didn’t want them to know what was going on. His pupil would lose respect for him. Worse than making sounds of pain would be to make sounds of pleasure.

For Equius was finding the spanking not only painful but incredibly arousing. The strikes brought made not only blood rush to Equius’ bottom but also his genitals. He imagined his bottom must be bright red. After strike after strike, the pain in his buttocks blunted but his genitals were so painful engorged it evened out. He’d fantasized about being spanked but he was amazed at how strong the feeling was.

Sheriff Makara paused again but this time Equius was smart enough not to move. He did take the opportunity to catch his breath.

“Get your breaths while you can, boy,” Sheriff Makara said.

Then he struck at a new angle and the pain was sharp anew. He changed angles over and over. Every inch of Equius’ backside got hit by Sheriff Makara’s through hand. The pain layered and layered on top of each other. His erection throbbed with every hit.

“You’re doin’ good for your first spankin’, boy,” Sheriff Makara said, “YOUR SKIN IS PERFECT FOR REDDENIN’.”

He paused a moment to rub his victim’s sore behind. His fingers rimmed around the crack and Equius wondered if this man would penetrate him. It wouldn’t be a new experience for Equius, having done it himself. Yet having someone else do it and a man at that was something else. However, the finger went down to his taint.

“Your big balls are almost gone away,” he noted, “MAYBE YOU’LL SASS BACK LESS WITHOUT THEM.”

The suggestion of castration came to Equius’ mind and he was surprised to find yet another deviancy in his psyche.

Sheriff Makara’s knees shifted a little and hit Equius’ ignored erection. Equius contorted his body in hopes of making it less obvious.

However, Sheriff Makara said, “Don’t think I don’t know you’ve been hard all this time. IT’S PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS. With your size, I CAN SEE IT A MILE OFF. Maybe your big pecker is why you’re so MOTHERFUCKIN’ SMUG.” With a groan, he shifted again. “BUT I BET MINE’S BIGGER.”

Sheriff Makara went in for another round but this time he was sloppy. His strikes were weak and off-balance. His arm was shaky. His great belly went in and out rapidly. Equius realized he could feel the larger man’s bulge along his thigh. Equius couldn’t tell the size for certain but he knew it must be in proportion. He could also tell it was hard and throbbing. The sheriff might not have decided to spank the teenage boy simply as a punishment to him. This adult was a bigger deviant than Equius.

This knowledge brought Equius close to the edge. He didn’t want to come like this. If he was going to succumb, he wanted it to be in the privacy of his own bedroom to the memory of this event. He tried to think the calculus he was teaching Gamzee to stave off the orgasm to a less embarrassing time. Yet when Sheriff Makara managed a good strike, it all came out for Equius. He bit the quilt as he humped his spanker’s shivering thigh.

Before Equius could catch his breath from his first partnered orgasm, the sheriff pushed him off. “Get off, YOU HOMO.”

Equius’ legs felt rubbery but he still managed to use them. When Equius was all the way off, the sheriff got up and looked down at his damp pants.

“UGH! You must really be backed up, boy.”

“I have a girlfriend,” Equius said defensively even though that wasn’t exactly true. He hadn’t even talked to Aradia in months.

Sheriff Makara rolled his eyes. “I DIDN’T ASK ABOUT YOUR DAMN PRIVATE LIFE.”

Equius looked down at his own clothes and realized he was also in a bad condition. He looked back up at his host, who was currently taking off his own pants. Underneath them, he wore black briefs with cartoon skulls on them, which Equius thought was an odd look for a man his age. However, Sheriff Makara had muscular and hairy legs befitting him.

“These pants ARE PART OF MY UNIFORM,” the sheriff complained as he held up the article.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Equius replied, “Do I need to pay for a replacement?”

Sheriff Makara dropped the pants and shrugged. “Ahh, IT’LL WASH OUT.” He looked Equius up and down. “But what about you? I AIN’T LETTIN’ MY GUEST LEAVE LIKE THAT.”

He crab-walked over to the dresser and pulled out some clothes that he threw to Equius. They were a pair of sweatpants and a Lynyrd Skynyrd t-shirt.

“It ain’t much,” the sheriff said, “BUT’S IT’S BETTER THAN THOSE FUCKIN’ SHORTS. A man shouldn’t wear shorts.” He sighed. “Wish Kurloz knew that.”

Equius was peeling off his soaked shirt when his host added, “Take a shower first.”

“I can use your bathroom, sir?” Equius asked.

Sheriff Makara pointed to a side door. “Make it quick.”

Equius waddled awkwardly into the master bathroom. He was dismayed to find it was a cluttered and unclean room. There was a large box of Magnum condoms on the toilet and porn magazines on the floor. The magazines appeared at a glance to be all women but Equius didn’t want to examine further. The shower stall had dark curly hair everywhere. He stripped out of his remaining clothes and put them in a wastebasket trash bag he found sticking out of a box. He turned on the water and waited for a second for it to get hot before deciding just to go in. The cold water hurt his tender skin but he just wanted to get on with it. When the water did turn warm, it felt better, but he knew he couldn’t stay long. He got out of the shower only to see his host standing in the open doorway. Equius put his hands to his crotch though it was too late.

“What do you know, mine IS bigger,” the older man said.

Equius thought that was an unfair judgement since he had just been in cold water but judging by the extra-large condoms, it was probably true.

Sheriff Makara walked back to his bedroom, leaving Equius to dress. It was a difficult task since bending over hurt. At least the sweatpants were soft to the skin. He picked his shades out of the plastic bag and put them back on.

Equius exited the bathroom to see his host lying on the bed with his shirt off. He wondered if his host had fallen asleep. Possibly the perverted older man had orgasmed too. Equius had his suspicion. Instead of waking him, he went to put back on his shoes.

Then his host asked, “You got a ride? CAUSE I AIN’T DRIVIN’ YOU and I’m sure my chucklefuck sons are high as kites now.”

Equius looked up to see his host rolled on his side. “I can call my brother.”

“Good. DO THAT.”

Equius finished putting on his shoes and shakily stood up. “But what will I tell him?”

The sheriff sat up. “You ain’t tellin’ him NOTHIN’.”

Equius pulled at the unfamiliar t-shirt. “What will I say about the clothes?”

Sheriff Makara shrugged. “Tell him you got sick all over yourself.”

“How will I return your clothes?”

Sheriff Makara grinned. “You’re gonna be tutorin’ Gamzee for a long-ass time. This won’t be his last senior year. WE’LL SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN.”

Equius shivered as the older man winked at him. “I’m...I’m glad to have met you, sir.”

“Me too, boy. ME TOO. Take care.”

Equius nodded his head as he backed out of the room. He wished he didn’t have to see the sheriff’s sons again tonight but his cell phone and the rest of his stuff was in the basement. The two sets of stairs made the situation worse. The basement seemed as far down as a mine shaft. On that floor, the Makara brothers had brought out a bong and were both smoking out of it. Equius bitterly thought that Gamzee was wiping out Equius’ hard work. However, Gamzee was still with it enough to notice Equius when Equius reached the bottom of the stairs.

“What happened, bro?” Gamzee asked, “Why you got new clothes?”

Meanwhile, Kurloz wrote, “WHAT DID FATHER SAY?”

Equius wiped his brow. “I...I got sick and needed a change of clothes.”

Gamzee frowned. “Damn, that sucks for you. Maybe you should drink orange...ginger...tea...juice.” He turned to Kurloz. “Is that a thing?”

However, Kurloz just pointed insistently at his sign. Equius decided to ignore that question and get his messenger bag from the loveseat. His walk was hobbled and it made him feel self-conscious, though he didn’t think the Makara brothers were watching. He did manage to get to the bag after that long awkward moment. 

“I need to get going,” he said as he held his cell phone in his hand.

“Will I be seein’ you soon? You comin’ to school tomorrow?” Gamzee asked.

Equius was caught by Gamzee’s plaintive tone. He had assumed Gamzee only tolerated his demanding tutor. “Maybe the day after...my illness is likely only a twenty-four bug.”

Kurloz wrote, “YOU’LL BE COMING TO OUR HOME AGAIN?” By his face, he didn’t look happy about this.

“As long as needed,” Equius answered.

“Don’t be too put out by the Old Man,” Gamzee said.

“I think we have an understanding.”

“He ain’t bad, you know?

“I know.”

Gamzee then scratched his crotch. Before tonight, Equius would have only been disgusted by this, but now his disgust was joined with curiosity about how much Gamzee had to itch. Gamzee wore baggy pants all the time, and while his older brother wore skin-tight clothes, the older brother covered his crotch in baggy shorts.

Equius tore his eyes away from Gamzee’s crotch and turned around to use his phone. Horuss was peeved to be called after ten for a pick up but he changed his tune when Equius said he was sick. After that, he couldn’t pick up his younger brother soon enough. Equius had a hard time getting him off the phone.

After the phone conversation, Equius turned around to see Kurloz looking up at him from the couch. The mute man’s sign said in crowded letters, “YOU DID SOMETHING PERVERSE WITH OUR FATHER. I AM NOT IGNORANT. I WON’T SNITCH BUT I WON’T FORGET NEITHER.” Equius looked over at the younger brother but the younger brother was only paying attention to the bong. Kurloz then erased the board and made a zipper motion on his lips. Equius shivered. Things were going to be very queer in the Makara household from now on.

Soon, Horuss would come and Equius would have to endure Horuss going through the medical encyclopedia while Equius sat in agony in the passenger’s seat. Yet for now, that was fifteen minutes away. He was currently in the afterglow of his first sexual experience and in a basement with two possibly well-endowed brothers and their giant bong. All the rules had been broken in this house. 

Equius asked, “Could I have a puff?”


End file.
